If You Could Read My Mind
by sugah66
Summary: You'd know you're everything I need. Why Derek does the things he does. Episodes from Derek's POV. Dasey. Up now: Open Mic Plight.
1. The Room

**TITLE: If You Could Read My Mind  
AUTHOR: Sugah****  
SUMMARY: Why Derek does the things he does.****  
SPOILERS: I've seen all the episodes, so if you haven't, there be spoilers.****  
PAIRING: Derek/Casey****  
RATING: T. I have a dirty mind, ergo there is a lot of innuendo and some bad language.****  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show or the characters. If I did, I would come up with a timeline that made some sort of sense.  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have an obsession with finding something shippy about basically every interaction. I seem to have a knack for this. The plan is that every chapter focuses on one episode, taking something Derek does to Casey and putting a shippy spin on it. These won't be in any sort of rational order (kind of like the way they air the episodes), because I'm writing them as they come to me.**

**This chapter was beta'd by the lovely Boleyn.**

**This is my first LWD fic, though I'm no stranger to fanfic in general.**

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_**If you could read my mind****  
You'd know you're everything I need****  
You'd see yourself through my eyes****  
You may understand what I'm going through  
Just how much I want you  
- Tim McGraw, "Let Me Love You"  
**_

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**Chapter One: The Room**

He's already decided that he can't do this. He can't live with Casey McDonald and keep his sanity. It's just not possible. He actually knew it the second the Venturi kids were introduced to the McDonalds and he got his first look at the famous Casey that Nora would not shut up about, the girl that was going to be his stepsister. He took one look at her, in the pale pink dress that accentuated her tan and showed off her well-toned legs (dancer's legs – she was a dancer – because fate hadn't been cruel enough to him), with her hair that smelled like coconut and probably would feel like silk on his fingers, and those blue eyes and that smile…

He knows that he'll never be able to live in the same house as Casey without going crazy, be it from her actual personality (on her, being a super keener is kind of sexy – but still annoying) or from the fact that she parades around in skimpy outfits (pajamas his foot – pajamas actually have fabric, and what she sometimes wears doesn't qualify) and he's not allowed to touch her.

So he'll distract her. He'll annoy her. He'll do everything in his power, use every weapon in his considerable arsenal, to prevent her or anyone else from learning that he's had to start taking daily cold showers ever since the McDonalds moved in.

Because the great Derek Venturi, ladies' man extraordinaire, does not get worked up over a girl. He does not sit at the dinner table, staring at the concoction his father has the audacity to call food, wondering how many times he can 'accidentally' brush Casey's leg without her catching on. And he certainly does not secretly wish that he's adopted so that the two of them will be even further removed from each other in this warped familial relationship he's now forced to endure. Because Derek Venturi always gets what he wants.

Except Casey McDonald.

He purposely ignores her at school, not because it will bug her (that's just an added bonus), but because if he acknowledges her, then people will notice her. Guy people. And they'll see what he sees, which is a beautiful, intelligent, passionate, single girl. And she won't be related to any of them by marriage, so there's a distinct possibility that if one of them were to ask her out, she would accept. And Derek does not want to sit in the living room and watch her leave on a date.

So he does what he swore he'd never do and says hi – well, a variation of it – to Emily Davis, whom he normally avoids like the plague because her hugely obvious crush on him really freaks the crap out of him.

The showdown over his room is just too perfect. It gives him ample opportunity to piss her off, and he lets himself turn the implications of her statements over in his mind, giving them new and significantly naughtier context.

_You know,_ he says to himself as he watches her at the kitchen table, where she's wrapped up in some project, _she never said I couldn't be in the room, too. She just said she wants my room._

And when he catches onto her plan – because of course he does, you can't scam a scammer, and she just looks so utterly hot when she's scheming – he goes along with it. One, because it's totally worth all the yelling just to see how feisty she gets when she's angry. She really lets loose when she's mad, especially when she's mad at him. Her eyes flash, her cheeks flush, her chest heaves, her hair's messed, and Derek can't help but wonder if there's some other activity that could have her looking like that. Because someone who gets that worked up in one aspect of her life can't help but let it seep into other, more interesting aspects.

He has to stop himself from dancing when his dad and Nora leave them alone to decide who gets the room in the basement. Of course, he can't try anything, not when she's so angry. And, you know, their parents are upstairs. But just the fact that their parents actually locked the two of them together in a confined space and gave them no indication of when they would be allowed out proves that hiding a relationship from them would be a piece of cake.

If Casey would go for something like that. Which, judging from the way she's glaring at him, is not outside the realm of possibility. He knows he's not imagining the way her breathing gets shallow or her pupils dilate as they stare each other down. He manages to resist flicking his eyes downwards to see if her arousal is visible below the neck as well. There's clearly something there, though he knows that neither of them will acknowledge it. Not just yet, anyway.

But his dad and Nora are clearly clueless. He could use that to his advantage.

The other reason he plays along is because he's fairly certain that Nora is the type of mother who will put her daughters' needs ahead of her own. In fact, he's pretty sure that if he can keep Casey occupied long enough (though unfortunately he can't do what he really wants to do with her – not with the parentals listening), Nora will come up with a solution that somehow gives both Derek and Casey what they want.

What Derek wants is for there not to be an entire floor between him and Casey. If she has her own bathroom, he'll never catch her in the hall on the way back from her shower, wrapped in a towel, her hair dripping wet and clinging to the back of her neck. And that sight is half the reason he gets out of bed in the morning. Because one of these days, he's going to run out of ways to annoy her, and he'll be forced to steal her towel. If he times it right, he can get maximum staring at a sopping wet, completely naked Casey before she screams and their parents murder him. Or she murders him. Hell, as long as she's naked, she can do whatever she wants to him.

He's right about Nora, of course – moms are so predictable when it comes to their daughters – but results are even better than imagined when she offers Casey their room. With his dad and Nora in the basement, it will be so much easier to sneak into Casey's room in the middle of the night and…prank…her. Because he has an entire folder full of pranks that he can pull on her (he's been doing research), and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he want to know what she looks like when she's sleeping. Absolutely nothing at all.

That's just another bonus.

xxx

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_Coming up..._

Bully Brothers.


	2. Bully Brothers

**A/N:** Thank you guys so much for your reviews! I was very nervous before posting this - I usually am before entering a new fandom - but I am so pleased with the feedback so far!

Oh, and because someone asked and I thought others might be interested, I had not intended to do any chapters from Casey's POV, but I might if I can think of one. I am much better at writing from the male's perspective and I think Derek is just more interesting, lol.

Also, I was going from memory for the dialogue in this chapter, so if it's a little off, please don't hold it against me. My memory is crap.

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**Chapter Two: Bully Brothers**

He switches their lunches on purpose. He does this occasionally – not often enough that she'll catch on, and usually only when he's got a problem and wants to talk to her. Because even though she claims to despise him, she's always there when he needs her. And right now, he really needs her.

Because he's terrified of fighting Ryan. The dude is seriously like twice his size. Derek's not out of shape by any means, but there's a noticeable difference between the workout routines of hockey and football. And then there's the fact that Ryan clearly has no sense of humor and holds a grudge. And he's never liked Derek anyway. And Derek may or may not have let the air out of his tires last week.

In his defense, he thought it was Max's car.

So that morning, he makes himself the most un-Casey-like meal he can with the supplies available (Nora really needs to go grocery shopping soon – he's pretty sure the cheese is starting to grow fur) and snags her sensible, all-food-groups-represented lunch as she's in the bathroom putting on her makeup. Usually when he does this, she finds him about thirty seconds after the lunch bell, calls him one of her pet names for him ('idiot', 'dumbass', whatever she feels like insulting him with that day), and then gets a good look at the 'something's wrong' face that he absolutely does not practice in the mirror the night before. She'll give an exaggerated sigh as she plops down across from him and asks him what's wrong.

But today she doesn't find him. He sits at his usual table, trying to ignore the food fight Sam and Ralph are having right beside him, hungry enough to actually eat the nutritious meal in the paper bag he's clutching, and sees just why she hasn't come.

Max.

He even grunts the name in his head. Fancy that. Casey has clearly noticed that she has his lunch instead, but before she can stand, Max has pulled out his sandwich and offered it to her. Casey beams, then dumps out the contents and proceeds to chow down on the bread. Derek suddenly loses his appetite, and not because of Casey's rabbit food. He's on his way out the door when he hears Casey scream, "What?"

Derek stops, but doesn't turn. He pretends to be interested in a sign-up sheet for this year's Battle of the Bands, although after losing to Schlepper the year before, there's no way in hell D-Rock is going to enter. He can't hear Max's response to Casey's rapid-fire questions, but he's almost positive he hears her say his name. And possibly the word "jerk".

He's also pretty sure that Casey's now gripping his arm with enough force to bruise and dragging him out of the cafeteria. And unfortunately not for a mid-afternoon make out session. No, she wants to lecture him about how violence doesn't solve anything. He pretends to blow her off, knowing that she'll never let this die, and then he 'reluctantly' confides in her the real reason Ryan wants to pound him. Which she then proceeds to blurt out in front of the entire school.

"Keep it down!" he says, shushing her and bringing his hands too close to her face for comfort. "I've gotta protect my tough guy rep."

She's so cute when she's confused. "You don't have a tough guy rep."

He's not going to lie – that stings a little. But he knows she doesn't mean it; she's just trying to talk him out of doing something as monumentally stupid as fighting the one guy in their school who could be mistaken for a mountain.

The end of the day comes too quickly for Derek. He's fairly certain he's going to throw up Casey's apple-and-cheese-square lunch that he finally ended up eating, and Sam's…fretting…isn't helping. For one second, Derek considers making a run for it, and then Max shows up.

Max. What a stupid name. And he's undoubtedly here at Casey's urging, because no way does this guy actually care what happens to him. He's probably dancing inside – the guy may be completely dense when it comes to Casey (but then, really, who besides himself isn't?) but Derek thinks Max may be on to him. Because Derek didn't care about pranking the football team until he caught the quarterback frenching Casey in the living room. But now he's making a half-assed attempt at stopping the fight while still probably wanting Ryan to kick Derek's ass, and Derek is wishing he'd just let Lizzie help Edwin.

Then Casey shows up. And Derek really feels like he's going to be sick. Because Casey is the one person whom he doesn't want to get pounded in front of. He had hoped that when Sam carried him home afterwards (him being unable to use his legs, naturally), Casey would make a fuss over him and tend to his wounds. If he were really lucky, maybe he'd even have been conscious enough to enjoy it.

"Casey, go home." He doesn't want her to see this. He doesn't want her to watch him get his ass kicked.

"Yeah," says Ryan. "Listen to Derek."

"No! I will never listen to Derek!"

He idly wonders if he can use that to his advantage. Something like, _Hey, Casey. Don't kiss me._ But Casey is still talking, telling Ryan that he'll have to fight her first, and if the situation weren't so serious, Derek would be doubled over laughing, because the thought of Casey fighting anyone is just hilarious. And, of course, the fact that she's even willing to fight someone for him makes his heart soar.

And then Ryan calls him wimpy, and Derek hates to be insulted in front of Casey, unless Casey is the one doing the insulting. Because that's okay. "Hey!" he yells and races forward, only to be restrained by Sam, "I am scrappy!"

Then Casey is in Ryan's face, and thankfully everyone is too busy gaping at her to notice that Derek is completely turned on at the moment. Because Casey angry arouses him like nothing else, and he doesn't usually get to enjoy it like this because she's usually yelling at him. But there's something about her yelling at him that makes his pulse race, and surely someone can hear his blood pounding in his ears? Because he certainly can.

God, he loves feisty Casey. And she actually gets Ryan to back down, just by yelling at him. And poking him a bit. Dude, talk about wimpy. Guy can't even stand up to Casey's verbal onslaughts, and those are like second nature to Derek by now.

After Ryan leaves, Sam, Max, and Derek are walking back to the parking lot and Sam almost gushes to Max how cool it is that he tried to break up the fight. Derek somehow manages not to roll his eyes as he 'agrees', and then lets Max know all the pranks they pulled on him recently. But he's not doing this because all of a sudden he and Max are going to be best buds. He's doing this because Casey just saved his ass, and so he'll lay off torturing her boyfriend.

For about a week. Then he's totally letting the air out of Max's tires.

xxx

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_Coming up..._

Middle Manic.


	3. Middle Manic

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the continued reviews! I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying this so far.

I had some comments about a lack of naughty!Derek last chapter. Hope this one makes up for it slightly. ;)

Again, if the dialogue isn't exactly right, blame my sieve of a brain. I can name the presidents in order, but I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

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**Chapter Three: Middle Manic**

Derek needs to go to Sweden.

He needs to go to Sweden like he needs oxygen. Or food. Or Casey.

Because isn't it always about her? Doesn't every aspect of his life revolve around her in some way? He wakes up and there she is, freshly showered and smelling like berries. He comes down to breakfast and there she is, puckering her lips around her straw as she sips her morning smoothie. He goes to school and there she is…with Sam. Talking to Sam. Flirting with Sam. Fighting with Sam. Kissing Sam.

And Derek never wanted them to be together, because every moment that she is talking to, flirting with, fighting with, or kissing Sam is a moment that reminds Derek just how much he wants to talk to, flirt with, fight with, and kiss her. But if getting Sam and Casey back together means that Derek can meet Swedish girls, then that's what he needs to do. He needs to constantly think about Casey in order to not constantly think about Casey.

And yes. He's aware that makes absolutely no sense. Nothing in his life makes sense anymore, not since the McDonalds moved in.

He doesn't want to obsess about her. But he does. And in doing so, it's been virtually impossible for him to date. Because Casey McDonald, though Derek will never publicly admit this, is exactly his type, if anyone cared to notice. He's surprised no one's caught onto this before, how he always dates the same type of girl – dark-haired and feisty. But lately, every time he finds one of those girls, in his mind, she morphs into the one girl he can't have.

Maybe that's it. Maybe the reason he always seems to have Casey on the brain is because he can't have her anywhere else. He wishes he could just kiss her and know once and for all if all the sexual tension he feels crackling between them when they fight is because they're actually into each other or because the whole thing is taboo. Of course, pure, perfect Casey would never do anything remotely taboo.

But god, how hot would it be if she did? He might just explode.

Sweden. Definitely Sweden.

He's hoping that Sweden will be full of anti-Caseys – girls who are blonde and docile and not related to him by marriage. He's tried going on with his life and he can't, because he can't pursue the girls he normally goes after, as they all remind him of Casey. There was Vicky, Casey's cousin, the resemblance between them just a little too uncanny. He made out with her anyway, because she looked so much like Casey that he could almost pretend she was. And if Edwin hadn't interrupted when he did, Derek's fairly certain that his secret would've slipped. Much the same way it had when he walked Sandra home that one night she helped baby-sit. They'd been kissing on her front porch, and everything was proceeding just fine, thank you, when a moan escaped his mouth in the form of Casey's name.

Yeah, Sandra hadn't called after that.

So he decided. No more brunettes. Blondes and redheads only. It's too easy to slip up otherwise, and Derek can't afford another slip-up. He can't run the risk of too many people learning that he's picturing Casey during his cold showers, especially now that she's dating his best friend and become even more unattainable.

It's bad enough that his normally clueless stepmother is now suspicious, but Derek supposes that's his own fault. He knows he's overdoing it with all the 'deeps' as he grudgingly 'admits' to caring about Casey. Nora just gives him a look, and he can only think that he's laying the denial on a little thick. _Methinks thou doth protest too much_, he can almost hear Nora saying that in his head.

He should be thrilled that Casey and Sam have broken up for good, it seems, but he isn't. Because he and Casey can't be single at the same time. If she's dating someone, as much as it eats him up inside, he's got another layer preventing him from making a move. Just the fact that they're stepsiblings isn't going to hold him off for long. Eventually he's going to snap, and he isn't going to care about technicalities (like the fact that they're technically related or that he technically has no idea where she stands on the whole situation) as he pushes Casey up against the nearest wall and…

Sweden. He needs to think about Sweden. Maybe no longer being in the same country will give him back some of the mind he lost when he first laid eyes on Casey McDonald.

Sure. And maybe monkeys will fly out of his ass.

He tricks Emily into helping him by 'admitting' that he wants Sam to be happy, because he can't very well tell one of the biggest gossips in school that his sanity is at stake. She'll want to know why, and wouldn't that be stupid, telling Casey's best friend that if he doesn't stop thinking these wildly inappropriate thoughts about her, he's going to go crazy.

Speaking of crazy, he goes to see Paul. He's avoided it for this long, though he's actually considered talking to the guy (it can't be healthy, this abnormal obsession with his stepsister), because he's honestly afraid that he'll cave and admit that not only does he have feelings, but that he also has them for the one girl he shouldn't have them for. So he's refrained, for his own safety. Because their parents would most likely kill him if they knew.

But Derek knows, from Paul's reaction when he introduces himself, that this guy might actually be able to help. Because when Paul asks, "How do you feel about that?" when Derek brings up Casey and Sam, Derek has a sneaking suspicion that he can see right through him. After all, he's a guidance counselor – and a guy – and so he has to realize that Derek operates under basic elementary school logic when it comes to Casey. In the absence of pigtails on her end, though, he has to resort to sabotaging her relationships. Or putting chocolate syrup in her shampoo bottle, which she won't discover until after he's already showered, if he's lucky.

Derek tries to change the subject, getting back to the point of his visit, which admittedly is hard to do now that he knows just how much Casey talks about him. Because people don't usually spit out their food when introduced to someone only mentioned in passing. No. Casey obviously talks about him a lot, and that's a good thing, right? He doesn't know how girls' minds work on this matter, but when he claims to hate someone, he doesn't talk or think about them all the time.

When he likes someone, though…

He's always telling someone something about her. That her feet smell, or that she snores, or that she has this weird mole on her left shoulder, which he only saw once, he swears, and he had to wash his eyes with disinfectant immediately afterwards, because…ew. He can't tell anyone that she's gorgeous when she smiles, or that her hair smells like berries, or that the sight of her bare shoulder is enough to send him on a search for lotion and tissues.

Yeah. He definitely needs this trip to Sweden.

So when the whole thing blows up in his face (he is so killing Edwin the next time he sees him) and Sam tells him that he's quitting the hockey team, Derek freaks. Because the whole point of this was to forget about Casey, because he's tired of seeing her dancing in the living room and being unable to pin her to the floor and get her to move her hips in a different kind of dance. He's tired of seeing her clad only in a towel and having absolutely no knowledge of what lies underneath the cotton, yet having a vivid enough imagination to try and fill in the gaps. He's tired of thinking about her every waking moment, of dreaming about her every night. He's going crazy, and he just wants it to stop.

"You have to play on Saturday, so I can meet some Swedish girls!" He's practically begging, but he doesn't care. His sanity is at stake, after all.

But then Emily hears that, and of course no one knows why he needs to meet Swedish girls, so he looks like a gigantic ass. Then Emily tells him that he doesn't know the meaning of friendship, and Sam agrees, and it takes all of Derek's self-control not to flip them off. Because if they knew how hard it is for him to sit there and watch Casey and Sam be a couple… If they knew how much it eats him up inside that they're together because he stepped aside, they wouldn't tell him that. Derek does know the meaning of friendship. It means giving up something you want more than anything you've ever wanted in your life so that your friend can be happy.

And he's just insulted enough to chase after Emily and try to defend his actions, but that's hard to do without revealing how he feels about Casey, so Emily just rolls her eyes and slams the door in his face.

And then, after all that, the trip to Sweden is cancelled.

He just hopes there are some hot girls in Winnipeg.

Blondes, though. Or redheads. No brunettes.

xxx

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_Coming up…_

Not So Sweet 16.


	4. Not So Sweet Sixteen

**A/N: I am so sorry that this took so long to get up. I've been rather uninspired and unmotivated lately, thanks to the horrific killing of my major ship. I've been in mourning.**

**Also, there was major drama. There's no drama like online drama, dontcha know.**

**It seems that this episode is a popular one recently. I apologize in advance if this chapter resembles any other fics about this episode. It's not intentional.**

**Thank you guys so much for the continued reviews!**

**Unbeta'd.**

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**Chapter Four: Not So Sweet Sixteen**

It hurts more than he's willing to admit – not being invited to Casey's birthday party. She seems disgusted with even the thought of him being there, when just a few months ago she was helping Emily plan his own party, and he can't help wondering what he's done lately that's so horrendous that she doesn't want him at her sweet sixteen.

Okay, so he switched their math exams and got her in trouble. And, yeah, he humiliated her in front of her boyfriend a couple of times. And ripped her prom dress. And got a troupe of little kids to pelt her with paper balls. And he may or may not have buried her makeup in the backyard last week.

But he also got in trouble with the math midterm debacle. Got in trouble trying to help her out, he might add. And in humiliating Casey in front of Max he pretty much ruined his chances with Sally, while the happy couple was still nauseatingly happy. And he brought Casey a new prom dress which she ended up liking better and looking a hell of a lot better in. And he helped her out with those kids when he didn't have to, giving up another week of his summer to spend it in school.

There's no excuse for the makeup thing. He just wanted to hear her scream his name. He loves it when she does that, because he can close his eyes and imagine all the other ways he can make his name fall from her lips. Most of them are not suitable for anyone under the age of seventeen.

Were all of those things so terrible that the very thought of him at her birthday party gives her that look on her face? They've been getting along a lot better now. She's come to him for help a couple of times, though she's obviously reluctant to do so, and she doesn't seem to realize that he helps her out every time. He puts on a big show, acts like it's such a huge sacrifice for him, but when it comes down to it, he'll do anything for her.

He can't believe she doesn't know that.

Okay, so he won't hug her. But that's entirely for her benefit. Because as soon as his arms go around her, he will not be held responsible for his actions.

And he won't help her make Max look good, because he's not about to help her boyfriend look even more appealing to her, and also, he's no miracle worker. Max is hopeless, and the sooner Casey realizes that, the better off she'll be.

So now he has to help her again. She threw him a gigantic party for his sweet sixteen, and he had a great time. Even with his dad singing that song. And playing guitar. Which he really could have done without. But everything else about that night was pretty cool. He definitely remembers the smile on Casey's face when she wished him a happy birthday.

He also remembers how disappointed she seemed when he hugged Emily and not her.

And one thing he knows about Casey is that usually when she says she doesn't want something, it means she does. She's got her own opinions and likes to speak her mind, but sometimes she tests people by saying one thing and meaning another. He knows she does it with Max all the time. She did it with Sam, and Derek had to hear about it every damn day. Casey's brain works on a different wavelength than everyone else's, and Derek's pretty sure that she doesn't always remember that.

And, yeah, part of him is just jonesing for a party, because it's been so long since there's been a decent one. But that's not the only reason he's racing through the halls, trying to find Max and Emily. He is, in some warped way that even he doesn't understand, doing this for Casey.

Not like she'll appreciate it, but whatever.

So there's her slight, irrational fear of surprises. What better way to overcome her fear than by having the best surprise sweet sixteen ever? He's sure she'll have a great time. Once she finishes killing him.

He has to rope Max and Emily into his plans, for appearance purposes. Word gets around that Derek Venturi is doing something nice for Casey McDonald, his reputation is shot to hell. So enlisting the best friend and the boyfriend is necessary, because it cannot look like only he is going to all this trouble for Casey. Planning a sweet sixteen is no easy task, he's fast learning. Besides, Emily has experience, in that she helped plan his.

He reserves the entire restaurant for Casey's party, inviting everyone he can. He makes sure to tell them that it's Casey's birthday, but he thinks most people stop listening after the word 'party'. He's about halfway through his list of people when it occurs to him to mention that it's Casey's birthday first. Then he, Max, and Emily stock up on supplies, making trips to every party store in town, it seems, and buying all the food that fits in the back of Max's car.

He's fast learning that between the three of them – boyfriend, best friend, step-brother – he knows Casey the best. When Max and Emily are arguing about whether to get a chocolate or vanilla cake, it's Derek who points out that Casey likes angel food. They end up not getting angel food, because Max makes a face and mentions that no way will anyone on the football team eat angel food cake. So they 'compromise' and get vanilla cake with chocolate frosting.

On their way out of the grocery store, Derek buys a small angel food cake anyway.

And he hopes she doesn't expect a present from him, because he's quickly running out of money.

When the big day finally arrives, he notices right away that Casey isn't feeling well. Aside from the fact that it's her sixteenth birthday and she looks like she's about to throw up, she doesn't fight him for the bathroom. When he asks her if she's okay, she snaps, "Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? It's my sixteenth birthday, I'm fabulous."

His remark of, "Because you look like death," does not go over well, but he has ample time to reflect on that as she pushes him out of bathroom.

When Emily finds him later and tells him that Casey went home, he again asks if she's okay. He can't believe this, but he's actually considering canceling the party. If Casey isn't feeling well, she's definitely not going to enjoy it. Whereas if she were feeling fine, she would scream at him for a while and then perhaps actually have a grudging good time.

But Emily tells him that Casey said she was fine, and so he thinks she's fine, until Nora calls him downstairs later that night to tell him that they need to take Casey to the emergency room. And suddenly his mind goes blank. All he can focus on is the fact that Casey looks scared. Even more scared than when he and Edwin actively tried to scare her.

Actually, everyone looks scared. Lizzie's terrified, Nora's freaking out, and he's pretty sure his face is as white as a sheet. And his mind scrambles, because he can't stand seeing Casey – or anyone – look like that. And the only thing he can come up with, the only thing he knows will make Casey completely forget about everything else, is that he has to be a jackass.

"It seemed a shame to have such a small party for such a big occasion," he says, "so I invited a few more people."

It works like a charm. The look of pain and fear on Casey's face is replaced by the glare he affectionately refers to as the "Casey's Going to Kick Derek's Ass". "How many more people?"

He pretends to think, even though he doesn't have to, his wallet knows the exact amount all too well. "Let's see… The football team, the hockey team… Carry the one… A hundred and two."

"Derek! You threw me a surprise party?"

"Surprise?"

Yeah, she looks royally pissed off. It's some small comfort to know that he's able to make her forget everything, even the sharp shooting pain in her side. And he gets the added bonus of her yelling at him, because he was starting to get sick from panic. If she's yelling at him, she's okay.

"Derek, you are ruining my life!"

She says this all the time, but for some reason, this one hurts. He was just trying to do something nice for her. Casey has got to be the only girl on the planet who would be this mad over finding out that the step-brother who's supposed to despise her blew his last four paychecks throwing her a birthday party.

But then she runs into the post by the door, and all is forgiven. He even manages to contain his laughter.

He wants to cancel the party, he really does, because even he's not such an ass that he thinks having a party when the guest of honor is in the hospital is a good thing to do. But if he doesn't go to this party, if he doesn't stuff his face and make an idiot out of himself with all of his friends, then he's going to sit on his bed and worry about Casey. And he can't do that. He can't think about Casey in the hospital because he hates hospitals, and his mind just keeps going to all the things that could go wrong while she's in surgery.

So Derek continues to take one for the team by acting like a jackass. His father is furious, and he's pretty sure Lizzie's going to give him the stink eye for weeks, when he reveals that he's still going to the party even though Casey has just gone in for emergency surgery. He even amps up the asshole factor with the whole, "It's a little thing called responsibility."

Because if they're mad at him, then they aren't worrying about Casey.

Which, unfortunately, is all he's able to do. Even when Emily's yelling at him, and Max is trying – not very hard, Derek thinks – to get him to cancel the party, the only thing Derek can think about is Casey. It's really hard not to, considering he spends most of the evening staring at the gigantic photo of Casey on the wall.

He has to bring her some type of peace offering, because she'll most assuredly want to kill him as soon as she wakes up. He has no money left, because of this stupid party, and the only idea he has is to make her a video. He was actually going to do that for her anyway, but he spent so much time planning the party that he wasn't able to.

So he gets out his video camera and works his magic. He's not able to stop Emily from blaming the entire party on him – because she really tried so hard to dissuade him – but he is able to move away before Emily bursts into tears of joy at having Casey for a best friend. He doesn't do tears, but the only tears he'll even remotely consider dealing with are Casey's. He makes his way through the rest of the party guests and is not in the least bit surprised that Max's 'tribute' is lame and unromantic, or that he breaks off halfway through to watch one of his friends try to balance a spoon on his nose.

The party is still in full swing when he decides he should go see if Casey's all right. He grabs the camera and is on his way out the door when he has the idea to grab Max. It takes some cajoling – apparently the football team is about to have a belching contest – but in the end the two boys are on their way to the hospital, with a quick stop off at the McDonald-Venturi house so Derek can pick up his laptop.

And for some reason that will probably come to him later, he grabs Marti's toy stethoscope.

Visiting hours are long over by the time they get there, but Derek is Casey's…family. He throws up a little in his mouth as he says this to the nurse at the reception desk while Max is in the gift shop frantically scrambling to buy Casey a present. Derek charms the nurse into letting him and Max in for a bit, but when Max shows up with a totally inappropriate card and a stuffed monkey, Derek tells him that they'll have to sneak in. He illustrates his point by nabbing the first pair of scrubs he can find and changing in the bathroom.

They 'sneak' up to Casey's room, and Derek insists that he goes in first. Max doesn't protest, so Derek heads in, but he leaves the door open, because if he closes it, there's no way he won't want to take advantage of the semi-private room. He does take a minute to admire her while she's sleeping, and he notices that she looks a lot better now – the color is back in her cheeks. But his heart lurches a little at how small and fragile she looks, wrapped up in the covers of a hospital bed.

Then she wakes up and threatens to hit him with a bedpan, and he knows that she's going to be okay.

"Derek," she says, and her voice sounds a little weird, but it's probably because of the operation, "you ruined my birthday."

"Hey," he says, a little wounded and determined not to show it, but at least she downgraded from him ruining her life, "don't blame me, blame your appendix."

"My appendix saved me. Otherwise I would have gone to your surprise surprise party and ended up crying in the bathroom."

"I'm sorry I missed that."

And he is. Because at least if she was crying in the bathroom, it would mean that she wasn't in the hospital. He hates hospitals. He is fighting every survival instinct he has in order to stay in the room with her. But he does. And when she asks how her party was, he puts his laptop on the tray and plays the video he made for her. She smiles at Emily's tribute, cut short by Derek, and laughs when Matt from the hockey team tries to ask her out.

Then she asks about Max, and Derek struggles to keep the smile on his face as the boyfriend steps into the room. He hangs out just outside the door as Max apologizes for not getting her a quill pen – he'll have to ask about that one later – and waits approximately three seconds after Casey requests a kiss to burst into the room and exclaim that the nurse is onto them.

Because he just wouldn't be Derek if he didn't ruin the moment.

They're running for the stairwell when a nurse steps into their path. Both Max and Derek try to avoid her, but while Max manages to escape, she grabs Derek by the collar. And he isn't able to charm his way out of this, because while he had permission to be in Casey's room, he can't get around the fact that he stole a pair of scrubs and was impersonating a doctor.

He's honestly not that surprised when the nurse takes him back to Casey's room and his family denies knowing him.

He is a little surprised that Casey doesn't want him punished. He has to admit, he was kind of hoping she would take their parents up on the offer. Because he can think of a lot of ways that he would like to be punished by Casey. And most of them involve her wearing skintight vinyl and carrying a whip.

"Well," he says, wondering how much he'd have to pay Lizzie to be able to take over her job of spoon-feeding Casey, "if I'm not being punished, could the birthday girl reimburse me for the food? 'Cause those football boys sure ate a lot of duck."

"Derek!" Casey yells, trying to get off the couch to come after him. Lizzie manages to get her to sit back down.

"Derek," his dad says, "leave the room now. You're interfering with Casey's convalescence."

He can think of a lot of ways he'd rather be interfering with her convalescence.

"Yeah," Casey says, "and once I'm fully convalesced, I'm putting him in the hospital."

He smirks. If she's threatening him, she's going to be okay. "Well, sounds like you're feeling a lot better already."

She glares at him, and he gives her a break and leaves the room. He heads upstairs to his room, where he opens his closet and retrieves the small angel food cake he bought the other day. He makes sure the coast is clear before padding across to Casey's room and placing it on her desk.

He hears her gasp of surprise when she finds it a few hours later. He also sees her shadow outside his closed door, as she stands on the other side, probably debating whether or not to knock. She doesn't, and she never mentions the cake.

But then, neither does he.

xxx

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_Coming up…_

Male Code Blue.


	5. Male Code Blue

**A/N:** **There's a reason I don't usually do multi-chaps. It's because I seriously suck at updating.**

**Thank you all for the continued reviews! I hope this chapter lives up to people's expectations.**

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**Chapter Five: Male Code Blue**

Dinner is a weird affair, if only because Derek feels out of sorts, sitting on the opposite side and end of the table. He can't kick Casey under the table, which is what he normally does to amuse himself during meals. He can't even catch her attention to pull faces at her, because she's entirely focused on Sam, the lucky bastard who gets to sit across from her and be the recipient of her googly eyes. Derek would kill to be the reason for her googly eyes.

When Nora starts asking Edwin about his crush and Casey chokes a bit, Derek's stomach tightens. No one else notices his discomfort, but he's fully prepared to blame the food if someone asks. And as Edwin talks about the girl he likes, Derek spots yet another opportunity to try and make Sam look bad in front of Casey.

Although he doesn't know why he's still trying. It hasn't worked so far. Casey is frustratingly oblivious to the fact that Sam is completely wrong for her, which is only further evidenced by his declaration that both Derek and Casey are right about what Edwin should do. Casey looks disappointed, because she wanted Sam to agree with her – she doesn't want him to be thinking about playing the field. And Derek knows that, which is why he brought it up. Because it's too much fun to piss her off.

Easy, too.

But then Marti has to go, "I want Sam and Casey to crush each other!" and Derek is laughing to cover up the fact that he feels like he's going to throw up, and Sam is spitting his drink across the table, and Casey looks all mortified and adorable. And it's his dad, of all people, who comes to Derek's rescue by saying that it's not cool for guys to go after a best friend's sibling.

"I'm with you, Dad," Derek says, pinning Sam with a death glare as Casey excuses herself. Of course, his dad has no idea what Derek's real problem is, has no idea that the very thought of Casey kissing Sam makes him want to break something – preferably Sam's nose. Or arm. Whichever is more painful.

But his dad has just given him the perfect excuse, which he uses to his full advantage the next day when he spots Sam very inexpertly attempting to ask Casey out on a date. Derek interrupts with his usual impeccable timing, and Casey leaves. Derek, as always, makes sure that he's standing close enough to her so that she can't move past him without touching him, then plops down into her vacated seat and starts right in on Sam.

Sam, Derek has learned over the course of their ten-year friendship, is easily manipulated. Derek never uses this to his advantage, though. Almost never. Sometimes. Only when he really wants something. And right now, he really wants Sam to not date Casey. All it takes, usually, is a few well-placed suggestions and the right tone of voice, a tone that indicates Sam is crazy if he thinks otherwise. So as Sam unconvincingly denies being attracted to Casey (Derek can't exactly fault him for that, as she is the very definition of smoking hot, but he still plans to do so), Derek says, "It's cool. We both know you'd never really go for it."

"And why exactly for I never go for it?"

Derek 'explains' the sacred male code, making sure to specify that stepsiblings are included. Sam should understand this, as he has four older sisters who don't find all of their younger brother's friends as obnoxious as they find Derek. It is also, Derek would like to point out, some unspoken rule that guys don't go after the girl their best friend likes, but as no one is aware of Derek's rapidly deepening feelings for his stepsister, he has to keep this addendum to himself. It should be enough, though. Sam has always shied away from confrontation – at least off the ice – and it has to be painfully obvious from the look in Derek's eyes that he would kick Sam's ass if he makes a move on Casey.

Unfortunately, Casey is not so easily intimidated. Normally, Derek relishes this aspect of her character, as she looks positively delicious when she's pissed off at him, which is often. But right now, it's damned inconvenient, watching her go after Sam and being unable to show how much it is eating him up inside. He knows Casey is not doing this to purposely antagonize him, but because she genuinely likes Sam, and that only serves to make the twisting in Derek's gut more pronounced.

Because Sam could not make Casey happy. She needs a challenge, someone who will call her on her bullshit and push her buttons. Or push her up against the wall in the heat of the moment. Sam doesn't have heat. Sam will agree to whatever she says, will always do whatever is necessary to make sure that they don't fight. But Casey is a fighter, and she needs a fighter. Sam is not a fighter. He's a puppy, and she needs a pit bull.

Derek tries one last time to talk her out of going for Sam, even tells her that she's making a fool out of herself. But Casey, normally so concerned about how other people perceive her, doesn't care, and follows Sam into the kitchen. Derek waits until he hears her address Sam before sneaking to the other door to eavesdrop on their conversation. When Sam tells her that he doesn't like her like that (and it's so obvious that he's lying, Casey has to be denser than Derek thought if she can't see that), she is visibly crushed. Derek can tell without even seeing her face, because he can see her posture slump and hear her breathing hitch, as though she's about to cry.

Derek can take a lot, but he has never been able to handle making Casey cry.

Dinner that night is even weirder than the night before, but Derek is back in his element as he sits in his usual seat and grins at Sam, relegated to the spot on Lizzie's left. Sam fumbles his way through lame small talk, trying to get Casey to open up, and shrinks at her open hostility. Personally, Derek loves her like this, and pointedly asks, since she hates sports so much, does that mean she won't be coming to their game?

"No," she says, "I especially hate hockey."

Derek is sure this is supposed to be a double jibe – directed at both him and Sam – but he's secretly pleased. When Nora and his dad first got married, the entire family went to one of his games. Derek instantly worried over how he looked on the ice, desperate to impress Casey with his skills. He ended up tripping over his own stick and sliding across the ice and into the net. They lost, and after the game, back in the safety of the house, Derek had yelled at Casey for a good five minutes, accusing her of being bad luck. She'd responded with, "Fine! I didn't want to go to your stupid game anyway, you Neanderthal!" Then she gave him a rather painful shoulder bump and ran upstairs to her room.

He heard her crying through the wall, and he had to put on his headphones to drown on the sound. He couldn't take it. He tried apologizing once, but she yelled at him to go away, and he didn't try again. He hates making her cry.

After dinner, he feels the need to apologize to Sam for Casey's behavior, because the poor guy looks like someone just ran over his dog, and Derek is attacked by a momentary pang of guilt at being responsible for his friend's sour mood.

"Good thing you're not interested in her," Derek says, hoping that this whole unpleasant mess can now go away and he can return to worshiping Casey from afar.

"Who says I'm not?" Sam retorts.

The pang disappears, replaced by something else. Derek tries to laugh the whole thing off, especially when Sam asks if girls know about the male code, because if Casey finds out, she's going to kick his ass, and as fun as that would undoubtedly be, the whole thing will end with her and Sam skipping off into the sunset. And another little piece of Derek's heart will break.

They play video games, and Derek loves video games but he hates playing with Sam, because Sam usually beats him. And Derek is still a little sore from losing something else to Sam, so he's slightly snappish as he suggests they play something else.

"Is the agony of defeat too much for you?" Sam asks with more than a hint of bite, and Derek momentarily panics, thinking his secret is out. Then Sam is accusing him of always having to have his way, and he is three seconds away from screaming that if he had his way, he would currently be sprawled on his bed with Casey on top of him when Marti tells him that he has a phone call.

It's Liz Walker, this girl he went out with once and with whom he felt absolutely no sparks. She was dull and did not succeed in her purpose, which was distracting him from Casey. In fact, he thought about Casey during the entire date. But right now, he'll talk to anyone who isn't his best friend, so he chases down Marti and takes the phone from her. He does his best to keep the conversation short, brusquely telling Liz that he has company and will call her later, though he doesn't intend to and is pretty sure he doesn't have her number anymore anyway. He hangs up, tosses the phone to a yammering Edwin, and goes downstairs to watch TV with Sam. When Laurie Webber calls later, he takes the phone upstairs, because he doesn't want anyone to know that Laurie is his history tutor. He'd prefer they think he's this ladies' man, getting calls from all these girls, and hopefully not notice that the last real date he had was with Sandra, and even then it was just making out on the couch and accidentally calling her Casey.

He runs into Sam on his way back down to the living room, and though logically he could just be going to the bathroom, somehow Derek knows that he's going to talk to Casey, and something deep inside him snaps. It isn't fair. It's just not fucking fair. Is he going to have to go through this with all of his friends? Is the rest of the hockey team going to develop a thing for Casey? Why in God's name, out of all of the guys at school, did she have to have a crush on his best friend? Life wasn't cruel enough, showing him the girl of his dreams with her passion and her legs, and then sticking them in a situation where he actually cannot do a damn thing about it? Fate just has to kick him when he's down and give her this unfair attraction to his best friend that is, because life just doesn't suck enough, completely returned?

Before he even realizes what he's doing, he's tackled Sam. They used to wrestle all the time when they were younger, with Derek usually losing just because of his size, but right now Derek is fighting like a man possessed. Casey needs a fighter, and he's going to fight for her, dammit. He is going to win, and he's going to make sure that Sam never asks Casey out. Ever. He'll do this if it's the last thing he ever does. And as they wrestle across the floor, with Sam pinning Derek's arms behind his back, Derek suddenly becomes aware of how obvious he's being. There's no way Sam won't see through this, no way he won't notice that Derek's acting more like a jealous ex-boyfriend than a concerned stepbrother. But it's too late for that, and so Derek manages to slip out of Sam's hold and somehow get the taller boy in a headlock.

This is when Casey comes down the stairs. "What's going on?"

"Nothing! Leave!" Derek yells, because if she's around he'll get distracted, and he has to win. He doesn't even want to think about what losing this fight represents.

"No, Derek," Sam says, throwing Derek off with surprisingly little effort, "tell her about your stupid male code!"

Derek's stomach lurches unpleasantly. "That's why we're wrestling?" That doesn't even make sense to him. Why would they be wrestling about that? He belatedly realizes what he said and how much it reveals, but miraculously no one else seems to notice his slip. And then Casey is yelling at him, and he flips up his collar, the way he usually does when he's nervous, because she looks really mad, not her usual mad. Sam is holding her back, and there's another stab in Derek's gut, so he gets Casey to turn her anger towards Sam, which she does by throwing him to the ground.

Derek is sure that he's looking at her like she's a goddess, because how hot is that, the way she just threw Sam down? Derek can't even be jealous that it was Sam and not him, because he's too busy imagining Casey throwing him onto his bed right before she straddles him and…

He catches the word 'idiots' and manages to tune back into the conversation, but by then Casey is storming upstairs, clearly seething. "Well," he says to Sam, who is still lying on the floor, "can't say that I'm sorry that it didn't work out between you two. But seriously, how funny would that have been – I mean, you and Casey?"

In all the years the boys have been friends, Derek doesn't think he's ever seen Sam look like this. And as Sam gets up to go watch TV, Derek is attacked by the voice in his head that he usually ignores – his conscience. To his annoyance, it sounds an awful lot like Casey, and it's blathering on about how if Sam were truly Derek's best friend, then he should let him be happy. And if he really cared about Casey, then he would want her to be happy, too, even if it's not with him.

_But you won't be happy with Sam, either,_ Derek tells the Casey in his head. And Casey the Conscience tells him that it should be her choice who she's with – and she wants to be with Sam. So shouldn't Derek respect that?

He hates it. He hates this whole damn situation. He's not used to not getting what he wants, and he's never wanted anything as much as he wants Casey, but he swallows his pride, he checks his emotions, and he goes and tells Sam that he should go talk to Casey.

"I don't need your permission," Sam snaps, and Derek has to fight not to roll his eyes.

"Apparently, you do. Now, go and talk to her before I find the mind I clearly have lost."

Sam does, thanking Derek as he goes. Derek knows that Sam is thanking him for giving them his blessing. He also knows that Sam has no idea just how much Derek is giving up by standing aside. Hopefully Sam will never know. Hopefully no one will ever know. Hopefully these unnatural and completely un-Derek-like feelings will go away and he can go back to living his life. But deep down, he has the distinct impression that they won't. This whole thing was a turning point, and he's pretty sure he can't ever go back to the way things used to be.

A few minutes later, he hears cheering, which is undoubtedly coming from his younger siblings and can only mean that Sam and Casey were caught kissing.

He abruptly gets up and heads into the kitchen. His dad and Nora don't keep alcohol in the house, and in the absence of a good, stiff drink, he falls back on the old standby of cookies and milk. He sits at the dining room table and shoves cookies into his mouth repeatedly. He's fairly certain he's going to be sick, and not because of the cookies.

Casey and Sam join him not long after, and he sits between them, playing mediator, while they make googly eyes at each other. He's glaring daggers at them both, not that either of them notices. Nor do they notice his start of surprise when he feels a foot gently brush against his own. He swallows hard, knowing that the foot has come from the right side of the table, where Casey is sitting. She clearly thinks she's rubbing Sam's foot. After a beat, he gently nudges back.

What she doesn't know can't hurt her, right?

xxx

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_Coming up…_

It's Our Party.


	6. It's Our Party

**A/N: Thank you all so much for continued reviews! And my apologies that I am really unreliable with updates. As I said before, this is why I usually stick to one-shots.**

**Speaking of, I'm currently working on a Dasey one-shot, so keep an eye out for that soon! It's Memorial Day weekend here in the States, and I actually have a three-day weekend, so I may get it finished and up before I go back to work on Tuesday.**

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**Chapter Six: It's Our Party**

Kendra can be really annoying sometimes. Okay, lots of times. And not annoying in the fun way – like Casey is, where he wants to keep pushing her until she blows up at him and makes that cute frustrated face – but annoying in the way that's actually annoying. Lately he's taken to replaying kung fu movies in his head so he doesn't have to pay attention to her when she's talking, but even that isn't enough to deal with twenty straight minutes of her trademark, "Der-bear? Der-bear, please – please, Der-bear?" Finally he agrees to whatever it is she wants, just to shut her up. And when he finds out what he's agreed to, he almost changes his mind.

The thing is, if Casey wants to learn about football because she's Casey and won't rest until she knows everything there is to know in the universe, then he'll be more than willing to teach her – in the event she'll ever ask, which she won't. But she wants to learn it to impress Max, and that leaves a bad taste in Derek's mouth – for a lot of reasons, the least of which is that he's slightly hurt she never bothered to show such an interest in hockey.

Then there's Max himself – quarterback of the football team, one of the most popular guys in school, quite possibly a piece of cardboard masquerading as a high school student. The perfect guy to fit into Casey's vision of what the perfect life should be. Derek finds Max's sudden interest in Casey suspicious, and he's still waiting to hear one of the guys in the locker room admit to it being a bet. Or a dare. It doesn't help matters any that no one seems to know the status of Max's endless, on-again, off-again relationship with that girl Amy from the cheerleading squad. Yeah, he told Casey that they'd broken up, but Derek is Lord of the Lies, and he knows that guys will often lie their asses off in order to manipulate women. He's done it himself on occasion, and he's not exactly proud of it, but he's never lied about not having a girlfriend. That's a low not even Derek will sink to.

Sheesh, he's insulting himself in his head. He's hanging around Casey too much. She's starting to rub off on him. And not in the fun way.

Then there's what being around Max does to Casey. Stick her in front of a pretty boy – even one made, as Derek suspects, out of orange Styrofoam – and she essentially loses everything that makes her Casey. She forgets about her principles and her liberated feminism garbage and becomes this giggling ditz who's all smiles and purposely dropping things so a guy will pick them up. Though in Casey's case, the dropping things isn't necessarily on purpose. She turns, more or less, into Kendra. And that makes Derek sick to his stomach. Because one of the things he loves most about her is that she's so unwilling to compromise (the thing with Trevor doesn't count – that only served to prove how far she's willing to go to win a bet) and that she challenges him, most days, just by breathing.

So he's already resolved to teach her the wrong things, but he has no idea how to do this, because Casey is really smart, and he's pretty sure she's picked up something after living with three fairly sports-crazed guys for a year. He lounges on her bed – he loves doing that, and he notices that she never protests – struggling to think of a convincing way to tell her that football is really all a giant conspiracy to smuggle snow globes – or schnoodles – to the States, and then she gives him a break.

"Question, do two quarterbacks make a halfback?" she asks, and she's so damn cute sitting there with her notepad and pen, and she'd be even cuter if she would toss those aside, stroll over to her bed, straddle his hips, and…

"Uh, yeah," he says, mostly to interrupt that thought process before it becomes painfully obvious what her mere presence does to him. "Absolutely."

He's forgotten how dense she can be (and she didn't used to be, but then he's always suspected that every conversation she has with Max kills some of her brain cells), and now he intends to use that to his advantage.

He can't believe she's buying this, as he makes up the most ridiculous terms he can think of. Fling-flong? Opening groin kick? Pork belly? Seriously, how dense can she be? Yes, she was momentarily suspicious, but only for a moment – she didn't even find it odd that he was willing to help her in the first place, even if he did have to put up with Kendra cooing in his ear for twenty minutes. He could just as easily tell Kendra that he helped her and not do anything. No, normally, Casey would be giving him the eyebrow. He loves that eyebrow.

He doesn't like this Casey. He likes that they're getting along, which proves that they can be in a room for extended periods of time without fighting, further proving his point that in the event they ever did get together, they could actually make it work. And, granted, he's messing with her and enjoying it a little too much, but this could just as easily be him teaching her the real rules, and she's giving him that big smile that turns his stomach to pudding because she's having a good time, and not because she's thinking of that piece of particle board.

Derek does have one regret about the whole thing, and that's that he won't be able to witness the fruits of his labor first hand. He'll pay good money to see Casey talk to Max about flings and flongs, but he has his own game to worry about.

He wishes she would come to more of his games. He knows he yelled at her and called her bad luck that one time, but it's because she made him nervous. He wants her there now. He wants her to see how good he is. Smarti once told him that Casey does sometimes go to his games and hides in the back – probably wearing that ridiculous blonde wig – but she doesn't like to talk about it. Or admit to it. Not that he'll ever ask her. And after making such a big deal over it that first time, he can't very well ask her to come – she'll be suspicious.

His cover is almost blown when Casey starts using some of her 'newfound knowledge' in front of his dad, but Derek manages to hustle her outside before anything too disastrous happens, and the tweens are arriving just as they're leaving, which should sufficiently distract the rents.

She babbles about Max during the entire drive to school, and Derek is about ready to wrap the Prince around a tree just to put an end to it. She's starting to sound a lot like Kendra, and the reason he likes Kendra is because she's absolutely nothing like Casey, thereby ensuring that he won't accidentally be calling her the wrong name. He floors it the rest of the way. Casey doesn't even notice.

"Wish me luck!" she cries, as she scampers off in the direction of the football field. She doesn't wait for a response, probably because she knows that he'll never give her one.

"You'll need it," he sing-songs to the empty parking lot.

He's in an extremely good mood at the prospect of Casey forever ruining her chances with the orangesicle, and he's having one of his best games ever, when his coach calls him off the ice and tells him that Casey called.

"I couldn't understand through the tears," the coach grimaces, and Derek suspects that the coach is no better at dealing with tears than he is, "but I think someone died."

Derek's stomach drops into his feet, and his mind is racing with all the possibilities. What could have happened? His entire family, with the exception of Casey, is all back at the house. Oh, shit – his mom. It's got to be his mom. He barely manages to gather up all of his gear and hightails it home, stripping out of his pads at red lights, only to find out that Casey was talking about Edwin and Lizzie's joint birthday party.

"Wait," he says, turning away from the spectacle in the living room to glare at Casey, "you brought me home before the end of the third period because the party died?"

Casey matches his glare, and his stomach, which has returned to its regular resting place, does a little flip. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ruin your hockey game? Why don't we play a little football? Start with the groin kick, just like you taught me!"

Nora steps between them before Casey can actually kick him, and part of Derek is impressed that Casey managed to manipulate his coach (she can do fake tears? He'll have to watch out for that), but the other part of him is just royally pissed that he got pulled from the best game of his career because his younger siblings are wusses. He is, however, slightly cheered by Casey's attitude, which means that Max's game must have gone well. Or badly, depending on who gets asked. He again wishes that he could have been there to watch Casey's catastrophic failure, and realizes that if he plays the caring older brother that he rarely lets show, it might go a long way towards impressing Casey. And possibly making her forget that he sabotaged another one of her dates.

So he unceremoniously yanks Edwin out of the games closet, where he's currently hiding (and Derek is not at all contemplating tricking Casey into joining him in there and then having Smarti lock them in), and proceeds to take out some of his frustration on his hapless younger brother. But when Derek realizes that this whole mess is partly his fault, he tries to make amends, because a very small part of him does feel slightly guilty that he put so much undue pressure on Edwin. So he lies. But he lied originally, so maybe two lies make a truth?

"Okay," Derek says, taking a deep breath, like this is really hard for him, "I'm gonna tell you something – something I have never told anyone before. A bro to bro secret."

He pauses for dramatic emphasis. "I didn't kiss a girl until I was fifteen," he tells a stunned Edwin, which is, of course, a lie. And Edwin, if he were thinking clearly, should know that. He was actually fourteen, and the kiss was memorable for all the wrong reasons – namely Derek accidentally kissing her nose and her braces cutting the hell out of his lips. He did run away at his first boy-girl party, but because the girl who'd spun the bottle was Martha Peterson, and he would have rather screw a porcupine than kiss her. She has a harelip.

"You were scared?" Edwin asks. "Of girls?"

"Yes," Derek says, which is the truth. "And sometimes, I still am." Also the truth, but only girls named Casey.

Whatever. Edwin feels better, and he and Lizzie head downstairs to their party. As Casey and Derek follow, with him standing abnormally close to her, as usual, he's kind of glad that Casey called him out of his game. Of course, he still plans to retaliate. After all, he did spend a good fifteen minutes thinking that his mother was dead. He's leaning towards something involving super glue and her journal.

When the tweens finally start dancing, and Nora and his dad join in, Derek starts to sweat. It's the perfect opportunity to ask Casey to dance. He's seen the way she moves (hard not to, since she practices in the living room), and to have an excuse to be close to her, to touch her, to have her move against him like that, is a chance he's not about to pass up. Hell, if Edwin could dance with Lizzie and it not be such a big deal (and he heard that one kid tell the kid with the freakish crush on Lizzie that Edwin was his competition – so no one obviously finds it at all weird or wrong), then he can dance with Casey. But when he turns to ask her, Mart appears out of nowhere.

"Let's boogie, Smerek!"

Damn. Cock-blocked by his own sister. Who knows when he'll be able to dance with Casey again – at least, in a non-public setting. He plasters a grin on his face, "Okay, Smarti! Whoo!"

Marti is pretty easy to please, so he twirls her around the 'dance floor', but he keeps glancing at Casey. He knows that she finds his relationship with Marti sweet – dare he say, cute? – and so he wants to know what she thinks about The Derek Venturi willingly dancing with his six-year-old sister, in the presence of other, non-family people.

Unfortunately, Casey is preoccupied by a giant piece of particle board that suddenly showed up.

Damn.

xx

* * *

_Coming up..._

Crushing the Coach.


	7. Crushing the Coach

**A/N:** Again, words cannot describe how much I suck. I know I've said this before, but I usually don't write multi-chaps for a reason. And the reason is, I suck. Sorry about that, seriously.

And I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. I know this episode has been visited in the past and I really tried to put a different spin on it.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Crushing the Coach**

It's genius. It's definitely one of his more brilliant plans. In fact, he's royally pissed off that he's never thought of it before. He is always on the lookout for new ways to mess with Casey, and this one has got to take the cake. And he stumbled upon it completely inadvertently.

The world's best way to mess with Casey is to approve of her dates.

When he doesn't approve – when it kills him a little bit to see her with a guy, when he does everything in his power to stop her from dating said guy – it only seems to fuel her more. He's convinced that she kept dating Sam for so long just to piss Derek off. It's not like they were compatible or happy or anything. But no, Derek acted like a jealous ex-boyfriend, actually physically fought Sam to keep him away from Casey, and so she dated him for two of the worst months of Derek's life, second only to the period of time right around the divorce.

But all he has to do is give this Scott guy the official Derek Stamp of Approval, and Casey's naturally over-analytic brain is scrambling to find out what could possibly be wrong with Mr. Seemingly Perfect in Every Way, if Derek is so insistent that she date him.

Why did this never occur to him before?

He can hear her in her room, on the phone with Emily, thanks to the vent in their shared wall that he never would have discovered if not for Edwin. But now Derek is addicted to that vent. He'll lock his door and sit on the floor, back against the wall, listening to Casey sing or talk or dance or, hell, even breathe for hours at a time. It's sad and pathetic and Derek would kick his own ass if he could for being such a sad, pathetic loser, but he can't stop. One of them needs to be in some kind of relationship soon before he snaps and acts out all sorts of inappropriate fantasies with his stepsister.

It's not like he really wants her to date the guy. He doesn't want her to date anyone, except him, but since she can't date him – at least not until they graduate and no longer live at home – she can't date anybody. It's only fair. It's not like he's dating anyone at the moment. He hasn't dated anyone in a while, and it's really starting to get to him. He's one dance routine away from mauling her on the living room floor.

And, of course, there's the fact that he really wants to watch the hockey game on Saturday, which he won't be able to do if she's at home. And maybe if things go well with this coach guy – not that Derek wants them to go too well – she'll snap out of the funk she's been in ever since she and Sam broke up. When Casey is in a funk, she's no fun. Last week, he poured honey in her underwear drawer, and she didn't even yell at him – she went directly to Nora, and he was grounded for the weekend.

Now, she's relaying the night's events to Emily, but most of the conversation revolves around the fact that Derek doesn't have a problem with Scott – "Can you believe it? Derek actually approves of one of my dates. Can you check the weather forecast? I think hell might have frozen over." Emily obviously tries to change the topic of conversation – there are brief periods where Casey contemplates wardrobe choices, once or twice she gushes about how cute Scott is – but Casey always steers them back towards Derek's uncharacteristic behavior.

"There must be something wrong with him," she says to Emily for what is probably the tenth time. "Derek must know something I don't. That's got to be the reason. I mean, it's not like he wants me to be happy."

Derek frowns and slouches even farther down the wall. She thinks he doesn't want her to be happy? Where did she get that idea? Did he not step aside and let her date his best friend, even though they were completely and totally wrong for each other? Did he not let her sing her lame song at the Battle of the Bands, even though they would have been laughed off the stage if she hadn't decided to sing the song Derek's way instead? Did he not go above and beyond the call of duty in trying to help her get out of her science project, even though it totally blew up in their faces? And she thinks he doesn't want her to be happy?

Isn't she supposed to be smart?

He's a bit mopey when he runs into her in the hallway as he's getting ready for bed, and she catches sight of the look on his face and asks him about it. Thinking quickly, he licks his finger then sticks it in her ear.

"Ew, Derek! That's disgusting!"

He grins at her and watches her swipe angrily at her ear, then stomp to the bathroom and slam the door behind her. As soon as the door is closed, the smile slides off his face. He didn't really think his brilliant plan through, apparently. He loves watching Casey freak out, but he doesn't like it when she's heavily crushing. It does things to his heart that he'd rather not think about.

His heart is also affected when Scott shows up to pick up Casey for their date and she flounces down the steps looking absolutely amazing. Suddenly his instructions to Scott – to not bring her back until after the game – seem incomprehensibly stupid, and all he wants to do is rush after them and force them to take their date on the couch, where he can keep an eye on them.

He's in such a bad mood that he's purposely a dick to Lizzie, even though he really feels badly for her. She's probably the one person in the house who understands what he's going through. Because Casey is the only one oblivious enough not to realize that Lizzie has it bad for the coach – and that Derek has it bad for her. But he lets Edwin deal with the youngest McDonald, because Derek honestly doesn't know how to, and he'd really prefer to not interrupt his mope.

The hockey game manages to distract him somewhat.

Derek is in his bedroom when he hears the front door open. He sneaks down the back stairs and into the kitchen to fix himself a snack – not because he wants to spy on Casey and Scott. Or interrupt them right before they kiss.

He doesn't have to do that, for once. Lizzie takes care of that for him, parading down the stairs and fake laughing at everything Scott says, and finally even Little Miss Oblivious can't ignore what's right in front of her face, and Casey takes her sister upstairs. Derek waits a few minutes, then takes his newly made sandwich out into the living room to "check on" Scott.

"Your date abandon you?" he asks, going for casual as he strolls towards the stairs. He hopes he doesn't sound too excited about the prospect.

"Casey had some kind of sister…something," Scott answers, barely looking up from his phone. Derek furrows his eyebrows at the way he responds – her relationship with Lizzie is very important to Casey, and he's sure she wouldn't like it if her dates didn't understand or respect that. "But she'd better hurry up, 'cause I got other plans."

And he winks. He actually winks. Do people still wink? Derek's sandwich suddenly tastes weird. The guy is winking at him. That can't be good. "What are we winking about?"

"I guess I can trust you," Scott says, and Derek's defenses are instantly up. Did he like this guy? He suddenly can't remember. "After all, I know why they really call you Triple D."

Derek raises his eyebrows. No one knows why they really call him Triple D (it's because he always gets at least three Ds on his report card – the old guidance counselor, the one before Paul, is the one who gave him the nickname – but he likes Edwin's idea better), but he enjoys hearing the different stories. And Scott doesn't disappoint. "'Cause you took three seniors to your junior prom."

It never ceases to amaze him how clueless people can be. Apparently, it's never occurred to anyone that Derek is only a sophomore, and he's definitely never been to prom, let alone taken three dates. Still, if people want to think that, he's not about to discourage them. "Good times. Trust me with what?"

"The sweetest soccer scam ever." Yeah, Derek definitely doesn't like the sound of this, but he has to know now. He hopes he looks interested enough to keep Scott talking. "You see, I've convinced Lizzie's soccer team that I'm coach of the year, so the team's introduced me to their older sisters, and, well, who wouldn't want to date the great guy who's coaching their little sister's soccer team?"

Derek's sandwich now tastes like sawdust. He barely remembers to swallow the bit in his mouth, he's so pissed off at this guy. He's sitting there bragging about playing Derek's stepsister – he's actually proud of being such a colossal jackass. Derek's not exactly Mr. Commitment, but he'd never do something as sleazy as this – despite what Casey may claim. If Scott is waiting for Derek to pat him on the back, he's going to be waiting a long time – but Derek might oblige with a fist to the face.

Oh, crap. He practically set Casey up with this guy! What the hell was he thinking?

"So, Casey's not the only soccer sister you're seeing." It isn't a question. He already knows the answer. Just like he knows that Scott has about fifteen seconds to get the hell out of his house before Derek shoves what's left of his sandwich up the guy's nose.

"Are you kidding?" Derek doesn't like the tone of his voice. He really doesn't. Like Casey's not enough – he needs more? Casey is perfect. She's too good for this slimeball; he doesn't deserve her. No one deserves her, Derek included. "She's the…fourth. Pretty impressive, huh?"

_Impressive that you obviously can't count if you had to think about how many girls you're seeing?_ "Yeah." He's imagining Scott's head just spontaneously combusting. That totally happens in real life, right?

"Cool," Scott says, standing. "Gotta go, dude. Soccer sister number two. She's blonde. You understand, right?"

_Understand about needing to go after blondes because every brunette looks like Casey, the one girl you want more than anything and the only girl you can't have?_ "Sure. Uh, what am I supposed to tell Casey?"

"Whatever. I'm sure you'll think of something creative. Guys like us, we always do." He clucks his tongue, and then he leaves.

"Right," Derek says to the empty room.

Well, hell. He's gone and fucked it up now, hasn't he? What is he supposed to tell Casey? He's not about to say anything that would make her think that Scott is some uber-sweet guy. No way on this planet is he going to tell her something that will make her want to go out with that guy again. He'd really like to tell her that Scott said she was fat with bad hair and no personality, but given the act the guy's been putting on, she's going to know he's lying, and then she'll get mad at him for being a jerk.

So he doesn't tell her anything. He races up the stairs and darts into his room, managing to remain unnoticed, as Casey is still in Lizzie's room. From the giggling, he gathers that Marti is in there with them, so they could be a while.

He can't sleep. At all. This never happens to him – not since the divorce, anyway. He keeps going over his and Scott's conversation in his head. What is he supposed to do? He can't just come out and tell Casey what a douchebag Scott is – she'd never believe him. She'd just accuse him of trying to mess up her relationship, which he's honestly not doing for once. But he can't let this guy do this to Casey – she doesn't deserve to be treated like this. She deserves to have a guy who's completely devoted to her, not juggling three other girlfriends while they're dating. She's a princess, and she should be treated like one.

Are they dating? They just went on one date, right? That doesn't mean anything. Maybe she had a terrible time. Maybe she realized they have nothing in common, and she's already decided that she doesn't want to see him again. Maybe he really is a bad kisser, like he said he was (and, much as Derek hates the guy, he's so going to use that line). Maybe Casey's super-annoying keener-ness will turn Scott off, and he'll end things with her.

Maybe if Derek takes some cold medicine, he'll get something resembling a decent night's sleep.

He rolls over and stares at the wall that separates his bedroom from Casey's. Is she lying awake, like he is, agonizing over every aspect of her date, wondering why Scott didn't stick around to say goodnight? Or is she sleeping, half on her stomach, her arm at an awkward angle behind her – not that Derek would have any idea of what she looks like when she's sleeping – dreaming of Scott and their future wedding, and what they'll name their children?

But most of all, he thinks about the last thing Scott said. _Guys like us, we always do._ Is Derek like Scott? Does Casey think that Derek is like this? Derek tries to remember if any of the girls he's dated have brothers, and then he wonders if their brothers felt the way that he does now. Because he feels like shit. He's nothing like Scott – he's not. Derek may be somewhat of a serial dater, but he's generally interested in the girls he goes out with. He's not trying to win the competition for most girlfriends at once.

He has resorted to subterfuge, though. He remembers tricking Sandra into thinking that he was a doting older brother who doesn't pawn babysitting off on Casey whenever possible, and then later when he pretended to be into women's lib to try and worm back into her good graces. Is that the same as what Scott's doing?

By the time morning rolls around, Derek is exhausted. He doesn't even realize that he's poured orange juice on his cereal until he goes to take a bite. He spits his mouthful back into the bowl and is too tired to even appreciate the look of complete and utter disgust that crosses Casey's face. Edwin seems to enjoy it, though.

And Casey thinks it's because he feels guilty for driving away Scott. And then Lizzie rounds on him, too. But Derek can't bring himself to care, because his stomach has just dropped to his feet.

"You're going out with him again?" he asks, and he's not entirely sure how he sounds, but it doesn't seem to matter, because Casey would miss any inflections, as she's trapped in crush-mode.

"Why do you care?"

_Because the guy you're dating is a creep. Because you don't deserve to be anyone's fourth choice. Because you need a guy who will treat her like the princess that you are. Because I'm about six seconds away from taking you on the kitchen counter, Lizzie and Edwin be damned._

But he says nothing, and she makes that annoying buzzer sound and leaves with Lizzie in tow. Edwin asks him if he's feeling okay – because he's not gloating about pissing off both his stepsisters in approximately fifteen seconds – and Derek's not sure. No, that's not true. He feels like complete and utter shit. He knows he should tell Casey that this guy she's starting to fall for is an ass, but he also knows that she's not going to believe him. He's Chicken Little, and the sky is falling.

He agonizes over what to do all day. This is new for him. He's not sure if he likes it. He is sure that he doesn't like everyone asking him if he's feeling okay just because he's not ragging on Casey. Edwin, his dad, Sam, Ralph, his seventh period math teacher… Seriously, does he do it that much that when he doesn't do it, people notice? Because this is not good. He didn't realize he was that obvious. His math teacher, for Christ's sake.

Casey is the only person who doesn't ask him how he's feeling. That makes the twisting in his stomach more pronounced. He tries to ignore it and distract himself with food, but that only makes him feel like he's going to vomit (which he only does once, but that could be attributed to whatever lunch was supposed to be).

He tries to tell her half a dozen times, but every time he walks up to her and opens his mouth, she snaps something at him, coming up with way wittier insults than he ever believed her capable, and he's actually kind of annoyed that she thought of some of these first, because now he can't steal them. He loses his nerve every time, and he's really annoyed about that. He's not one to chicken out. But, when Casey is involved, nothing is the same as it was before.

He tries one more time, after school, before her date, but when he walks into her room and pictures the conversation, she tells him he's a great brother. And that makes him freak out even more than the knowledge that Scott is using her. Because he doesn't want her to call him that. Ever.

Edwin finds him pacing in his bedroom and, thinking that he isn't paying attention, grabs one of the magazines under his mattress that Nora doesn't know about, plops down on his chair, and opens it. Derek rips it out of his hands before he hopefully sees anything interesting and tosses it neatly back under his bed, then proceeds to play Edwin's head like a bongo drum.

"Derek, you seem tense."

Derek's sarcastic response is thwarted (it wasn't that good anyway) when the doorbell rings. He pushes Edwin aside and stalks over to the window. "Great. Scott's here."

"Um… I'm sensing some hostility towards the coach, but why? You guys seem to have lots in common."

He hopes they don't have too much in common, but there are some similarities – like the fact that they both want Casey – that he just can't deny. "We do. That's the problem."

Edwin looks like he doesn't know what to think. It's a look that seems permanently plastered on his face lately. "Okay, Derek, you're losing it! What's going on? You can tell me."

Derek really doesn't think so, but he's going nuts not telling someone, and it's easier to tell Ed than it would be to tell Casey. Because Ed will believe him, and not kick him. Probably. "Okay," he starts, sitting on his bed, and this is a lot more difficult than he thought it would be, "lately, I've been having…feelings about…" _Casey. Helping Casey. Being with Casey. Kissing Casey._ "…doing the right thing."

Edwin's reaction is enough to convince Derek that it's a good thing he went with his fifth choice answer. "No! When did this happen?"

The words all tumble out in a rush, now that he has the opportunity to give them voice. "Around the time Scott spilled his 'soccer sister scheme'. Dude's dating three of Lizzie's friend's sisters." And it's such a relief to tell someone – even if it is Edwin.

"No," Edwin says, though Derek can't help but notice that he sounds a little impressed by the thought of four girlfriends at once.

"It's true," Derek says, hoping he sounds disgusted enough to discourage Ed from ever trying to do something like that. "Dude told me himself."

"Oh, well, that I believe. What I don't believe is you're showing compassion." He leans forward and gets right in Derek's face. "For Casey!"

Derek pushes him roughly back into his chair. "You take that back!" And Nora's voice again rings in his head, _Methinks thou dost protest too much_, which is weird, because she's never actually said that.

Edwin looks way too amused. Derek makes a mental note to do something disgusting to his sheets later. "Sorry, bro, but you can't fool me. 'Cause I'm a sensitive kid, and maybe you're sensitive, too."

"But I don't want to be sensitive!" _Casey doesn't like sensitive. She broke up with Sam, didn't she?_ "And I don't want to do the right thing and tell Casey," _Because she'll never believe me and I hate it when she's mad at me for something that isn't my fault, _"but not telling her is making me crazy!" _Because I'm fucking nuts about her and I can't stand seeing her hurt._

"Well, you can't have it both ways. I mean, you can't do wrong and right."

And suddenly Derek has an idea – a surefire way for Casey to believe him. "Edwin, that's it!" His brother looks confused, so he continues. "Maybe, I can have my wrong and right it, too."

He sends Edwin to get Lizzie's phone tree – all the numbers for the girls on her soccer team. He's not entirely sure how he's going to do this, and he feels like an idiot the first few calls he makes when he opens with, "Yeah, hi, is anyone in the house dating the coach?" But eventually he hits pay dirt and manages to find all three of Scott's other girlfriends. He briefly explains the situation to them, and amazingly, they believe him. One of the girls even goes, "I knew he was too good to be true."

He gets them all to agree to come over to the house, so that they can accost Scott when he gets back from his date with Casey, and then he tries to act casual when the two of them walk through the door. And then the king of the douchebags actually asks him to clear off so that he and Casey can have a little privacy. He obviously has no idea how things work in the McDonald-Venturi household.

Derek can't help but notice that Casey smiles a bit at the idea of him helping with Lizzie's soccer team, and his brain trips over itself when the word "cheerleader" falls from her lips – he's momentarily blindsided by an image of her in a super-short pleated skirt and a too-tight sweater. He files that picture away for future use, and proceeds with his plan, introducing every one of Scott's girlfriends and forcing the guy to face the music.

Casey, thankfully, looks more pissed off than hurt, which means she obviously wasn't as far gone on this guy as he feared, and she makes a little noise of disgust when he tries to beg off, using his mother as an excuse. But Derek pulls him back and makes him apologize, because you don't mess with Casey and then just leave. That's not the way it works in their house.

After Scott leaves – or, more accurately, as he is forcibly removed from the premises by Derek – the four girls commiserate over ice cream in the kitchen, and Edwin gives Derek a knowing smirk and a headshake. Derek vows to find his brother's binder and burn it. Like he doesn't know what Edwin's research is really about. But he can't keep his eyes from straying to the kitchen, where Casey and the other girls are eating directly from the carton and laughing about the lame pickup lines Scott used on them. She's smiling, which is a good thing, and the knot that had formed in his stomach last night finally begins to unwind.

Then later, when the other girls have gone home and it's just him, Casey, and Edwin on the couch, she tries to hug him. She calls him sweet. He thinks he might die. And lose all self-control. So he backs away from her, cowering against the arm of the couch with Edwin and smacking her hands away.

"Fine," she says, and she seems endlessly amused, "but someday, somewhere, we will have our feel good family moment. Because deep down, you're a good guy, Derek Venturi."

The smile she is giving him is not a smile you give to a family member. Maybe he's reading too much into things, but maybe she doesn't really see him as family either.

And he will continue to tell himself that, thank you very much. Because otherwise, him listening to her through the vent is just creepy.

xxx

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Coming up…

_Open Mic Plight._


	8. Open Mic Plight

**A/N**: I really don't like Sally. It will probably show in this chapter, but I just wanted to put that out there. And I really don't like her relationship with Derek. And for some strange reason that is still unclear to me and I do not feel has been adequately explained by the writers (I suspect that they smoke crack), Derek does like her. So here is my take on that.

If you do not agree with it, fine. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. But please keep in mind that this is a fic, not a message board.

Also, I would like to thank everyone for the continued reviews. You have no idea how much they mean to me!

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Open Mic Plight**

Women. Derek will never understand them, if he lives to be a hundred. (Except Casey, and that's all kinds of weird. What's even weirder is that he sometimes thinks he's the only person that does understand her – and vice versa. But this isn't about Casey. Mostly.)

He and Sally are dating, and they have been for a few weeks. And out of freaking nowhere, she springs her feelings on him as he's leaving Smelly Nellie's, telling him that she's crazy about him, and he's a wonderful guy (which really makes him doubt her sanity).

He smiles and says, "Right back atcha," and gives her a high five, because he's almost completely positive that she's messing with him. She has to be messing with him. She can't be serious. They've only been dating a few weeks, there's no way she can be any crazy about him, especially considering that he finds it hard to be himself around her. Sometimes he thinks that she's not really interested in him at all, but that she's interested in Derek Venturi, almighty hockey god and most popular student at Sir John Sparrow High. After all, she showed absolutely no romantic interest in him until he stopped – outwardly – showing any in her.

Also, he's fast learning that everything he liked about her is not the way he thought it would be. For instance, he remembers that one of the things that first attracted him to her (other than the fact that she's cute – cute, not hot) was that she did not go in for the girly drama that so many of the women in his life (read: Casey) are prone to. She had that fight with Patrick, and she just dealt with it, and that was it. But when Derek screws up – even though he maintains that half the shit he supposedly does isn't his fault (because it's so not, why does he always end up the bad guy?) – it's the end of the damn world.

Like that whole thing with Marti's party. Of course he's not going to help. What does he know about birthday parties for eight-year-old girls? And she was all surprised that he doesn't help his siblings with their homework. As if they would ever want his help, anyway. Lizzie and Edwin know that if they want help with their homework, they go to Casey. Duh. He doesn't like being forced to do anything. And it feels like she's forcing him to do a lot lately. So why is he letting her do it?

Casey. Duh.

He likes Sally. He does. She's cute (cute, not hot), and she's sweet. But he's starting to forget what it was that made him want to date her so much. Or maybe he just doesn't want to admit that it really had nothing to do with her, and everything to with the brunette who occupies most of his thoughts and has for the past year. But the longer he spends with Sally, the more Casey-like she seems, and that – to put it mildly – freaks him the fuck out. He liked Sally because she wasn't Casey. He already has one Casey in his life, and she's more than enough, thank you very much. He can't handle two. Because sooner or later he's going to have to choose, and he's sure he's not going to like how everyone else will react to that choice. (Casey. Duh.)

That isn't to say that he and Sally don't have a good time, because they do. Most of the time. She's a lot of fun to be around. Most of the time. She has a decent sense of humor and tells pretty good jokes. She doesn't try to make him watch ballet or sappy chick flicks (most of the time). She doesn't grouse and grumble when he wants to watch hockey. She's willing to make out with him. But they really don't have much in common.

Not like him and Casey. They fight and they bicker, but they really do have a lot in common. He'll deny it till the cows come home, though.

Like D-Rock, for starters. And when Derek announces the start of open mic night at the dinner table, Casey gets this smirk on her face that makes his stomach do that annoying little flip thing that he would like to go away, please.

"So," she says. "D-Rock is performing Friday? Don't you have something to ask me?"

_Damn straight. But I don't think, "Want to make out in my bedroom?" would go over too well._ "Do you want my mashed cauliflower?"

She looks slightly put out, which is different from her normal expression not all that much. In fact, "slightly put out" may be her default facial expression. "How about, 'Are you free Friday?'"

Is it just him, or does that sound like she's trying to get him to ask her on a date? It must just be him, because no one else looks the least bit phased by her remark.

"'Cause I'm the lead singer of D-Rock?" she goes on to say, and oh yeah, she's talking. He should probably be paying attention, and not picturing her naked. Which he's totally not doing, because that would be wrong.

"No," he says, "you made one guest appearance, and we've decided to go back to our manly rocking roots. So, you know, you're out."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He really hopes no one catches the way he's looking at her. Because he's pretty sure he's looking at her like he can't wait to rip off all her clothes. Was she actually excited about singing with his band? And she's upset that he's not letting her? He wants to let her. Seeing her up on stage, in that outfit she wore at Battle of the Bands, dancing around, singing his song… Yeah, that scene totally replays itself in his head at least once a week. Generally when he's in the middle of his usual cold shower.

But she can't sing with D-Rock, because he had to spend twenty minutes convincing Sally that she couldn't sing with them, and if Casey shows up and sings with them, Derek will be in a lot of trouble. And he's really sick of being in trouble for stupid reasons. Sally has a pretty good voice, that's not the problem. The problem is that she is invading every aspect of his life, and he just wants one thing – one thing – that she isn't a part of. Because, for the love of god, can't a guy take a damn breath once in a while?

Sally says she's crazy about him. He thinks, sometimes, that maybe she's just crazy.

What really blows his mind is that Sally seems genuinely upset that he didn't immediately respond to her statement of whatever by spouting off love sonnets. First of all, Derek Venturi just does not do love sonnets. He's not even entirely sure what they are. (It's a poem, or something, right?) Second of all, he is sixteen. Sixteen! Sixteen-year-old boys do not use the word "love" in a sentence unless they are expressing their appreciation for various pizza toppings. (Mmm….pizza.)

Then, to add insult to injury, she confronts him about it at a D-Rock rehearsal. In front of Sam and Ralph. Sam and Ralph, who are still teasing him about getting into trouble trying to get Casey out of it, which happened months ago. Not to mention that Derek is pretty private about things like this. He doesn't even like public displays of affection, which surprises a lot of people. He has a public persona, and then there's the other side of his personality that few people rarely see, and he doesn't like to let show that often. (Except to Casey. Under duress.)

"Oh," she says, when he asks her what she thought of their song, "so, you do care how I feel."

That, he thinks, is totally uncalled for. And kind of bitchy. And not the cute bitchy, the way that Casey gets, but just plain bitchy. But he's learned enough by now to not say this, though he's kind of hoping Sam or Ralph will.

"I was hoping for something a little more emotional," she adds, and he fights every instinct he has so that he does not start laughing. She was hoping that he would be emotional? Has she met him?

What is her problem? He doesn't get it. He always thought that women actually wanted you to mean it when you tell them how you feel. So, what, she'd rather he just say something and not mean it, just because she told him? Wouldn't it be better if he waits until he's ready and says it because he wants to, and not because she wants him to? She's crossing a line Derek didn't even really realize existed until she stormed over it. Because telling him – in front of Sam and Ralph, he cannot stress that enough – that he needs to tell her how he feels, is just not cool. That's uncool on so many levels he can't even begin to explain just how uncool it is.

And it's kind of annoying how Sally goes on and on about how he never takes her feelings into account, but she does the exact same thing to him. And yet he's the bad guy. Because, in his room, trying to calm her down, he flat out tells her that he's not good with this sort of stuff. And he's not. And admitting that he has a fault at all is really difficult for him – it practically tears him up to let those words out of his mouth. But she's adamant that he either come out and say how he feels about her (and right now, he feels that he needs to have a more sophisticated screening process when it comes to his girlfriends) or write the song, or he'll be in trouble.

It makes no sense. He is not good with stuff like this. How is writing a song about it supposed to be easier? Has she not heard his songs? They have like ten words total in them. Only Edwin likes them. And Ralph. But Ralph also has monogrammed drum gloves – with rhinestones.

So he tries to write her a song. Because maybe she'll leave this alone and go back to kissing him, because he kind of likes the kissing, although he has to keep his eyes open so that he sees the blonde hair. And predictably, the song sucks hard core. Derek didn't need Edwin laughing in the doorway to realize that.

But Casey wrote a song. And Casey's songs, he knows from personal experience, are all about emotion and crap like that. Besides that, Casey is good at this kind of thing. (He will, of course, never admit that. Ever. Even under threat of torture.) He's read her journal – both of them (the fake one that she leaves lying around for him to 'find' and the real one hidden in her underwear drawer that she either thinks he doesn't know about or won't risk seeing her underwear to read – apparently she's forgotten the honey incident). So getting Edwin to steal the sappy song that she wrote is the perfect solution. Sally will shut up about how he hurt her feelings, and he doesn't have to do any work. Or lie. Because it would be a lie.

(Wait, she wrote this song about her and Max? She thinks that she and Max were two halves that make a whole? Wow. Then they were one lame, cardboard, orange-tinted whole.)

And then Casey ruins everything. Or maybe he should blame Sally. Because she's the one who tells Casey about the song, and then Casey confronts him about it at the restaurant. Or maybe it's his fault, for holding pie. Nothing good can come of someone holding pie. Because when Sally finds out that Casey really wrote the song (although, really, she's surprised? She really doesn't know him at all), she shoves a pie in his face.

But it's okay. Because Casey eats some of it, right off his face. And then makes a really lame joke. But all Casey's jokes are lame, so that's not a shock. (Did he mention that she ate pie off his face? He doesn't eat pie off his own face. Well, okay, maybe he does. It's just a shame to waste good pie.)

He hopes that the pie covers up the smile that spreads across his face as she leaves.

And now Casey and Sally are both mad at him. It's probably some sort of sign that the first person he goes to – the first relationship he wants to mend – is Casey. He tells himself it's because he lives with her, and if he doesn't fix things, life in the house will be hell. But even as he's telling himself this, he knows it isn't true. But he doesn't like to think about why he does this. It's dangerous territory. And as long as he's with Sally, he can't go there.

He does. But he shouldn't.

He has no idea how to begin to make this up to Casey. He has a feeling that this is something that won't be solved by her favorite ice cream (vanilla caramel fudge swirl) or letting her watch her favorite program ("Canadian Idol"). This may involve some groveling.

She's sitting at her desk, writing something (probably a song about how much she hates him). She looks entirely too delicious, and that little flutter in his chest that can go away any time now becomes increasingly more pronounced the longer he stands there watching her. She hates being snuck up on when she's writing (he knows this from personal experience), so he knocks to let her know he's there. This is a monumental occasion, as Derek almost never knocks. He'd feel bad about barging into her room all the time, except she does the same thing to him.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite plagiarist." He can't tell if she's wearing her normal-annoyed or her super-annoyed expression. They look exactly the same. "Did you apologize to Sally yet?"

He really hopes that lurch in his stomach is because he's hungry and currently missing out on pizza bagels. Why is she always so involved in his relationship with Sally? "Hey. She's the one who should apologize."

Casey looks confused. It really sucks how endearing it is. "For what?"

_How about for trying to turn me into something that I'm not, then getting mad at me when I don't want to do it? But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Casey?_ "Uh, for wasting perfectly good pie?" Dammit, even rolling her eyes at him, she's adorable. "And you," he says, totally pushing his luck now, and he knows it, "should apologize, too. And then get to work."

"I should apologize? To who? And get to work why?"

"Well, you need to help me write a new sensitive song, because you insensitively told her that I didn't write the other song, and for that, you should apologize."

Derek really, really hopes that Casey can hear all the sarcasm in his voice, because this whole situation is so ridiculous that he's not even sure why he still gives a damn. She's supposed to be the smart one! How in the name of all that is holy can she not realize what it means that he came to her, and not Sally, first? How did he not smack her in the face with all that gesturing he just did (seriously, what was up with that?)? But she just rolls her eyes at him again and turns back to her work.

Dammit. He's going to have to grovel. Maybe he can beg without really begging. He's usually good at that, but not when it's Casey. She knows all of his tricks. "Okay. I need your help to write a song because I don't speak…girl."

And he shouldn't have to. He's a guy. But apparently this thought has never occurred to anyone before.

Also, her bed is really comfy.

"Derek," Casey says, using the heels of her boots to roll her chair along the floor, and he really wishes she would stop doing adorable things like that, because she's close enough to him that he can totally pull her into his lap, "I'm not going to help you write a song about your feelings. But obviously Sally means a lot to you, so for her sake, I will help you write your own song."

Did he roll his eyes in real life or just in his head? Must have just been in his head, because Casey doesn't seem to have noticed.

"I've got a better idea. You write the song, and then forget about the apology."

He is less than surprised when that suggestion doesn't go over well.

She goes back to whatever it was she was working on, but he doesn't leave. He makes himself more comfortable, reclining slightly on her bed, bracing his weight on his hands and sprawling his legs out. He watches her write for a while, her legs tucked up underneath her. She chews on her pencil when she's thinking, but when she's really stuck, she tends to chew on her hair. (She does this in math class all the time – she still can't get polynomials.) She sighs theatrically a few times, he supposes because he's really staring at her, and she has to know that.

Finally she swivels to face him. "Take a picture. It'll last longer."

He has plenty of pictures of her, actually, tucked away in the darkest recesses of his room where they won't be discovered by prying eyes or snooping siblings. He's choosing not to poke fun at her for yet another lame joke. "Casey," he says, and he hopes that she can't hear the desperation in his voice, "please. I need your help."

Her face softens and she gives another sigh – this one of resignation – but she picks up her notebook and slides closer towards him. "All right. I suppose I can condescend to help you, just this once."

_Right. Just this once. If you don't count all the other times you helped me._ He stops short of thanking her – that's just too much for them and their warped relationship – and gets to work. Which basically means that he stares at her for another five minutes or so before she shakes her head and goes, "Derek, usually songwriting involves some sort of, you know, words."

Is his subconscious trying to tell him something? The fact that he cannot put his feelings for Sally into words, does this mean that maybe he doesn't really have feelings for her? He feels something for her, he knows he does (at the moment, it's frustration), but if he can't say it…that's bad. Because he should want to be able to say it, and he really doesn't want to.

"That's kind of the problem," he tells her, stretching out on his stomach. "I'm not good with words."

Casey purses her lips (yeah, she really needs to stop doing that, too). "Okay, well, the important thing to remember is that what you say is from the heart."

Derek flops over onto his back, so that his head hangs over the edge of Casey's bed, and she is upside down. "Face it. I can't write a heartfelt song, because I'm totally heartless!"

"Derek, I think the reason you can't do this is because you're doing something you shouldn't be doing."

_Writing about Sally?_ "Working with you?" He can't help but notice that she doesn't argue the 'heartless' comment.

"Thinking. It's never worked for you." He's pretty sure he should be offended by that, but Casey isn't finished. "So stop thinking, and start feeling."

Huh. That sounds suspiciously like the advice he gave her back when she first joined D-Rock. (Ironically, it was so that she wouldn't sing such a ridiculously sappy song.) Could it be that she actually pays attention when he talks sometimes?

"Close your eyes," she says, and he does, "and think about your feelings towards Sally. I'll write down how you feel."

How can he do this? How can he write a song about his feelings for Sally when all he can think about is how pretty Casey looks with her hair like that, and how comfortable her bed is, and how she smells like vanilla (or maybe that's remnants of the pie Sally shoved in his face), and how this is the longest they've gone without fighting in a while?

"I feel…" He needs to say something. Okay, Sally. Sally. How does he feel about Sally? _God, Casey smells good. You know, every time she leans forward, I can see right down her shirt. _"…totally ridiculous!"

Oh, hell. Does his voice always sound this squeaky? "Hey," he says, doing some sort of backwards roll off her bed, "can you just write me a song? I will pay you."

Does she not realize how big of a deal this is, that he is offering her money? Usually, he's extorting it from her, but he's offering to pay her, and she should see what a huge thing that is.

"Derek, if you don't express your feelings somehow, Sally is never going to forgive you!"

He's suddenly wondering if that's such a bad thing. They've only been dating a few weeks! He's only sixteen, this should not even be an issue yet! Why the fuck can't everyone just leave him alone and let him express himself when he's good and ready and it will actually mean something? He doesn't see how any girl could be happy with what a guy says when he's forced to tell her something or face never getting to make out with her again.

Casey is not done lecturing, though (Casey is never done lecturing). "I thought you cared about her!"

"Of course I care about her!" _I care that she's not you._

"Well, then tell me how she makes you feel!"

"I don't know! All I know is…when she comes to my hockey games, I play harder. When we watch a movie, I laugh louder. When we eat pizza, it tastes…better."

It occurs to him after he stops speaking that, while these things are true for Sally, they're also true for Casey. And Casey is the one smiling up at him – a smile that she almost never gives him. He knows all of her smiles, and this one means she's proud of him, and also that she's surprised. And maybe a little jealous, like she's wishing that she had someone who would say things like this to her. Casey is the one who he goes to when he needs help. Casey is the one he came to first to make things right. Casey is the one who appears every time he shuts his eyes. Not Sally. Casey.

Duh.

Oh, this is bad. This is really, really bad.

"Keep going," she says, and that smile is going to fuel his fantasies for weeks. He wonders what he has to do to get her to smile at him like that more often.

"Keep going where?" he asks, because he really can't concentrate when she looks like that.

"You just started writing your song."

"Really?" He blinks a couple of times. "Because it sounds really lame."

She throws the notebook at him.

They work on the song all night, breaking only for dinner, which they both wolf down so that they can get back to work. It's a lot easier for the words to come to Derek now that he knows who the song is really about (hint: not Sally), and Casey can't stop smiling at him. She works out a tune that he picks at on his guitar, and they sit close together on her bed, and she really does smell like vanilla, so it's not the pie he smells. He does his Elvis impression for her, and she leans forward when she laughs, so that her hair brushes against his arm, and his heart speeds up.

It isn't like this with Sally. They can joke around, sure, but his heart doesn't speed up when her hair brushes against him, and he can't be this loose around her. He's constantly on guard, worried that he'll say or do something that's going to make her mad, and she gets mad at him so easily whenever he does things that he does all the time – things that never bothered her until they started dating. And it scares him to know that he feels this way about the one girl in the world he can't have these feelings for. And it's totally unfair that Sally will think this song is about her when it's not.

Of course, when he's sitting in the back at open mic night (close to the bathroom, because he really feels like he's going to throw up – Casey comes back between acts to check on him), listening to Sally emcee, he feels a little less guilty. Because whenever possible, she takes little passive-aggressive digs at him – like he doesn't realize what her "Venturi that I actually like" remark is supposed to refer to (and judging by the sympathetic look Casey tosses his way, she got it, too).

And, seriously, there's no need to be this goddamn bitchy. And it's nobody else's business if they're having problems (or, rather, if she has a problem with him), so she doesn't need to announce it to the whole audience.

During Edwin's act, Casey comes back to check on him one last time. She puts her hand on his forehead to make sure he doesn't have a fever, and she really needs to stop touching him, because it's dark, and he wants her so badly, and Sally's pissing him off, and no one can see them, hiding out here in the back.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks, and her voice is soft, and oh, god, please tell his heart to calm down. He thinks he sees her eyes flick to the front door, but he can't really tell, since he's looking down her shirt. "You don't look so hot."

He tries to scoff, but it comes out strangled. "Please. I'm Derek Venturi. I am the definition of hot."

She gives him a small smile in acknowledgement of his (admittedly lame) joke. And she's still touching him. And this time, he totally sees her gaze move towards the door. He can't help but wonder who she's expecting, and it's that thought that finally makes him bolt to the bathroom and empty the contents of his stomach.

When he gets back from the bathroom, Casey is staring at him, her eyes wide, and she opens her mouth to speak, but he beats her to it. "Casey, I'm fine. Just nervous."

His brain is screaming bullshit. He hopes it doesn't show on his face.

She stares at him a while longer, then nods. She smiles encouragingly at him (his stomach does another flip, and he really hopes he doesn't throw up on her shoes), takes him by the hand, and leads him up to the stage. He doesn't miss the snark in Sally's voice when she says that it was originally supposed to be D-Rock (and from the glare on Casey's face, she catches it, too), nor does he miss Casey's knowing grin when Sam and Ralph walk through the door and up on stage.

Casey called them. She must have. Because they're acting like they're going to play, and the only way they could do that is if they know the song, and the only way they could know the song is if Casey gave it to them. Because Derek sure didn't.

And suddenly, he's realizing that he should be with Casey. He needs to be with Casey. Casey understands him, she knows him, she accepts him for what he is, and she may try to change him occasionally, but she knows when to stop pushing, and he knows that she's just trying to do the right thing. It's Casey who knows how much D-Rock means to him. It's Casey who helps him out when he's in a jam. It's Casey that he runs to whenever he has a problem. It's his relationship with Casey that is so important to him that he can't function when they're fighting. It's Casey who helped him write the song he's about to sing – the song that's about her.

Casey. Not Sally.

Casey's pushing him up on stage, but he knows he can't do this. He can't get up in front of all these people and sing this song for Sally, because it's not about Sally, it's about Casey, and he's not going to do that. He can't do that. To him, this is ten times worse than giving her a song he didn't write. And before he knows it, he's falling back into Casey's hands and asking her to sing the song.

She gapes at him, and he scrambles to think up a believable excuse for why he can't do this all of a sudden. "This song is so embarrassing," is what he comes up with – which is partly true, he can't imagine what Sam and Ralph are going to say to him when this is over. "You've got to sing it, please."

"What?" They stare at each other for a moment, and she must see something on his face, because she says, "Derek," and climbs up on stage, whispering to Sally that she'll be singing the song.

He really hopes he isn't smiling as he follows. But he thinks he might be.

Casey is in front of the mic, and god, she looks fantastic, and he automatically flashes back to the last time they performed on stage together (he doesn't think he can get away with an on stage grind again), and he's barely paying attention as Casey announces, "This is a song my stepbrother wrote for someone he really cares about, but I'm singing it because I have a way better voice."

Derek can hardly bring himself to look at Sally. He did write the song for someone he cares about. It's just not the girl who everyone thinks it is.

Wait. Did Sally change the name of his band? CD-Rock? What the hell is that? That's going to go right to Casey's head.

And then they're singing. And Sam and Ralph know the harmonies? When the hell did they work on this? He can't believe all the trouble Casey went to for him. He makes himself look back at Sally once or twice, because otherwise it's going to be totally obvious that the song's not about her, because for the rest of the time, he can't keep his eyes off Casey.

He needs to be with Casey, but not yet. He's not ready to be with her yet. He's not ready to be what she needs him to be – what she deserves. And, oh, right, they're stepsiblings who live under the same roof, and their parents would never let them be alone with each other if they got together before they left home. All that fun barging into each other's rooms at all hours? Yeah, that won't happen anymore. Being left home alone? Never going to happen again. Constant supervision is something he's not looking forward to, no matter how much he wants Casey.

And he does want her. A lot. Like, really a lot.

There are tears in Sally's eyes, and he feels like he's going to be sick. She's gushing about how much the song means to her, and he just can't stop thinking that it's not about her. He feels terrible, but what is he supposed to do? He can't be with the girl he wants, but he can't really be with anyone else, either. Everyone else reminds him of Casey, and it's become clear to him that it's no longer just about hair color.

There's a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach that he strongly suspects is guilt, and he wants to do something – anything – to stop feeling it, so he reaches out and pulls Sally to him, giving her a kiss in front of everyone. This goes directly against his no-PDA rule, but at the moment, that's the last thing on his mind. Because he's got to kiss someone right now, and it can't be Casey, so it has to be Sally.

It's the cheering that makes him pull away (makes him really realize what he's done – he hopes Sally doesn't get any ideas), and as he does so, he gets a good look at Casey's face. And she looks…not happy.

His stomach twists again. He hopes he can do this. He has to. It just really, really sucks.

xxx

* * *

_Coming up…_

Adios, Derek.


End file.
